No More Dead Copy Editors!

America’s Finest News Source reports that the ongoing gang war between AP Style and Chicago Manual members has claimed another four victims:

“At this time we have reason to believe the killings were gang-related and carried out by adherents of both the AP and Chicago styles, part of a vicious, bloody feud to establish control over the grammar and usage guidelines governing American English,” said FBI spokesman Paul Holstein, showing reporters graffiti tags in which the word “anti-social” had been corrected to read “antisocial.”

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Even the dreaded MLA is now involved. In the meantime, the president, whose 2008 campaign slogan “Yes We Can” ignored comma placement rules in an effort at neutrality, has yet to pronounce himself on the matter. Congress, tied up in partisan squabbling, has been equally silent.

All we want to say is: Death to all enemies of Chicago Style! End the violence!